Tuesday, October 25, 2005
it has come to my attention that i have been neglecting my blog. well well well about time i might say. cant believe this place has managed to survive the hmm.. 2 months that it has without me abstaining from it from quite a while.
had the fist major panic attack of my life yesterday..ok fine its really not that dramatic, not even a real panic attack, just a hysterical me screaming the minute i saw my mum telling her that i simply could not do physics. i think i was basically freaking out that my subject combi was actualy finally confirmed. it just made the future look so real, so close and so damn restricted. i need my space, to breathe, to dwell, to grow and asking me to pick 4 subs is utter madness. and im still not decided, think i shall just apply for the humans scolarship and see what happens. if i get it good, dont then physics here i come. but that's just another thing im mulling over, prob the most pertinent cuz i have no o's hovering over my head like everyone else.
no regets. the saying's getting old people. i cant tell u the number of folks who have been saying that to me. i know they mean well but u do realize its me u're talking to. regardless of what im taking, im always gonna be busy comtemplating with my what ifs. and i like doing that. gives me this alternate sense of reality. but then again its horridly draining. so maybe ill give this no regrets thing a try. just maybe.
its nostalgic period at the moment. somthing i will not blog about today for i cant bring myself to face it yet. talking about it means accepting it, means acknowleding that its gonna come. i cant do that yet. i just cant. im afraid of the future. as always im just hiding that behind my smile.
as such i am currntly looking again at all the photos accumulated this year..france net carn and other lame ass moments we're had. not gonna post them up now cuz im thinking i wanna try this picasa thing. before you go patting my back for finally entering the world of technology let me remind you that i said THINKING. im perfectly contented being the tech-noob that i am. life is so much simpler that way.
ok today's update is complete. i shall return soon i hope. its back to potter now. must have been another lunatic moment of mine for actually ever leaving it.
peace out. 9:49 PM