hmmm
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
theres this bubbling sense of unease that has settled itself within me. i
couldn't describe it even if i tried. its like i can see an end that
shouldnt be there but is and as hard as i fight it, it will still come. med has been great really though
im starting to feel more disconnected which is odd since i should be more comfortable now.. i dunno its
weird.. i think being
with so many new people is taking its toll on me..
dont get me wrong i like them.. they make me laugh and
im happy when
im with them but they are not the
friends i've had. they are
not the people that know me in and out. and they are not most importantly the ones i can tell my secrets for while i have few those few are the ones that i hold most dear. maybe
im not giving anyone a chance but
im just tired i think of making new friends.
ok i ought to stop being such an ass. like i said its this
weird sense of unease that has taken root. it has no cause and i have yet to see a cure.
but i am happy as contrived as it may sound. i am settled and things have stopped unravelling. m still calls sometimes but being so far its hard its only when he comes back that i feel like we can talk and not just speak. likewise with d. and now with the girlfriends all gone too its a tad odd. but the ones that are still here have been nothing short of perfect. its still
weird though not seeing them everyday. oh well.
i guess what i miss most would be l. and while i miss it i
dont necessarily want it back. ever.
lifes a bunch of contradictions
isnt it.
im a contraction. for what its worth someday
one day our sunny
somedays will come back to us.
peace out. 5:09 PM