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V27 :kiss away the young thrills

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trent!
angela
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deb and bel
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clique
shihui
michelle

im should be leaving for the airport in 2 hours to pick the parents up and yet sleep evades me.. perhaps because im starting to think about certain things that i probably shouldnt be thinking of. things that i know are only going to lead nowhere.. i wish i knew, you know.. thats only because if i knew then i could know what to think/feel back.. but since i dont know, i dont want to jump to conclusions lest it leave me feeling stupid and silly in the end.

but perhaps i shouldnt even be thinking about it for it can never be i believe. not this way i think. not anyway i know. and ill be happier if it works out the other way; because thats the way it was always meant to be.

i think im semi emotionally drained now after revealing something ive tried to run from and pretend that didnt exist to be.l and then talking to c about other stuff that made me a tad sad.

i guess strength lies in believing that tomorrow will be better.

though ill let you all in on a little secret;
tomorrow always disappoints. thats just the way it is.

peace out. 3:24 AM

u laughed and made a joke about it;
only you didnt know i wanted to too.

peace out. 1:45 PM

its been a such a wicked fun past two weeks that im starting to wonder how im going to remember it all once its gone...

so the girlies are mostly back which has resulted in many many meet ups where gossip of course was top on the agenda.. d's pre christmas party started off the festivities with a bang.. the food as usual was excellent and catching up, eating "tau huy" (forgive the spelling) under my block was very reminiscent of old times..

the brother and cousin are back home too which is adding to the retardedness of the house..

oh and m's back which warranted heh a pretty intense night at house and oh ill continue this some other time im off heh

peace out. 9:31 PM

and just to put things into perspective;





pretty do as pretty see =)

peace out. 7:03 PM

yesterday i promised myself that i would learn how to smile again; and not the kind that hides shadows behind it
i promised myself that i would laugh again; the sort that spills out joy and doesnt veil the pain i choose not to face
i promised myself i would paint again; for the thoughts i pretend not to see are expressed so much more vibrantly in colours
and i promised myself that i would learn how to forgive; for perhaps that will make me whole again

its not meant to be this hard is it
which simply leads me to conclude that im horridly weak and that little thought churns my insides. i am stronger than this, better than this i say, and yet it burns all the same.

i think in some way or another we are all damaged..or maybe i just say that to put things into a little perspective.
though the melodrama of it all amuses me to no end; the little i have seen and experienced of this world and the impression it has left on me.. i wonder what happens when i actually have to open my eyes.

oh blimey let the sad thoughts be already.. these days are meant to be gay and carefree, which i daresay they have been. and im glad to be part of a friendship so retarded and lame that it makes me realize that the things that matter most in life are not the cracks that we will most certainly fall in but the manner in which we climb out. inclusive certainly of those who will stand by us and help us up again. mmm perhaps med has been great afterall

on another note i have a paper in slightly over a week... what am i doing blogging?

"if you could, would you be willing to fix me?"

peace out. 4:17 PM