© 2006 BLACK-SOLACE {R.}
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V27 :kiss away the young thrills

designer
trent!
angela
xueting
karwei!
deb and bel
mish
hannah and co
clique
shihui
michelle

i hate getting scolded for the inefficiently of other pple,for their lack of responsibility so pls forgive me if i blow off on you tomorrow. i just have to. im sick being told off so there.

peace out. 11:12 PM

march hols are in 3 weeks!! -does a jig- i can officially start counting down to it now. had a relatively busy week..just gonna get worse for the next couple of weeks i think but its all worth it in the end. think im finally finding my footing somewhere. went back to rg on tues..crazy i noe who the hell goes back to school on v'dae!! well apparantly me and nicole that is. not too bad anyway. met mr. law talked for a while beofre heading to town after that. dont miss rg the building but rather the secure comfetable feeling. the people, the atmosphere. not the place. miss that. and after that day realized rj really isnt that bad. its all a matter of perspective. yea. well v'dae was fun/amusing/(fill in a word) i guess. and then crash back to mundane life. talentime and movie under the stars yesterday. had to go help sell tickets cuz trish pulled us in..some entre thing.. i think me and tara did a mighty fine job..we sold all our tickets and then went around asking people to give us all the coins they had..its called making a donation. hah not to mention we were waving a bright wand around. yup and was at the movie thingy with my og. see i do hang out with them! oh and today i actually went to punjabi school. yes and this is terrible random cuz i have nothing more to say.

peace out. 7:01 PM

they still want me to persue it...hmm i dont know if i should just let go of a stupid dream or keep trying. the heart pines for it..the heads says move on. when have i ever listened to either..

peace out. 9:02 PM

when we were young and lame..

to our first class netball carn where we won thanks to your brilliance..

to our *road trip* to france and england..

where we bunked together..

with von and got lost in louve..

where u two waited patiently for me to finish oogling at all the paintings..

where we photowhored at every single stop

even mr law's room..

and even attempted to look cool..

to our little stunt on racial harmony day..

to sec 4 netball carn where u made me shoot everyday!!

to the rubbish class outing of ous and lastly to

prom!

thanks for making rg so memorable bong. miss you laods man! and dont forget our uk future plan..angmohs here we come!

peace out. 8:27 PM

i feel lost. for the first time in a long while i feel like im no longer in control, like im just taking the ride having given the wheel to life and that terrifies the hell out of me cus i'd much rather have lost control than not be in the driver's seat at all. i dont know what im doing. am i making the right choices? someone told me i wasnt today and maybe she's right but how am i supposed to know that. how am i to know that that is what i want. its times like this i wish i could look at the future, see which one would make me happy. happy.. such a simple word yet its meaning is beyond my comprehension. but then again arent we supposed to look for our own happiness. isnt that the beauty of it all? and if i keep waiting for life to throw me a break, im just gonna grow old and wrinkly being extremely sour.

i made my choice a long time ago. i told u guys too. and as much as it pains me to say this, i cant go back on it. because u ask..because this is who i am and who would know better but you guys. ive alwyas been the fickle one, the one who pushed all the decisions aside, the one who could see the flaws in evrything, even if it seemed perfect. ever wondered why? because i knew once i made a decision i would stick by it. tweek it a little if i had too but stick by it definitely. i am who i am and it sucks but then again what doesnt. im sorry for being such a stubborn ass, i cant help it.

but having said all that, i still want you all to know that i miss you guys terribly. i miss the security blanket i had. u guys were my rock. still are. my lamess moments were with u all and that just shows how secure i was to let myself go. and im so glad we went bowling that day. it meant a lot to know that i still have u guys. yes it wont be the same but im willing to work on keeping our friendship alive. and ill come for every game i promise. wouldnt miss it for the world. and ill come down too sometime when training's slack (dont worry coach said we could) and i guess i just wanted to say im still here no matter what.

yup with that and a tear in my eye i say goodbye.

onto more mundane stuff..why do people change? and so drastically at that? were they not secure about who they were before? its weird and yet not unexpected at all. you always knew it was going to happen and then -CRASH- it does and you wonder how and when and why it did. hmm im being rather pensieve. well so much for that.

i hate coming home to an empty house these days. well not empty but deafening definitely. its so sad to reach home at 9 everyday, have dinner alone, watch tv alone. no one to bug or hear stories from. i miss the brother. miss his sudden random stories and jokes..i feel like i know all his friends so well even though i may have never seen some of them at all. i miss hearing him tell the sister and cousin hockey stuff and i just miss his presense as a whole. never thought i would but i do. afterall isnt he supposed to teach me and counsel me? and to think my sis is leaving tomorrow too. not forgetting the grandparents are gone too.

silence. sometimes its soothing. today its just suffocating. growing up can be such a bitch sometimes.

peace out. 10:38 PM