© 2006 BLACK-SOLACE {R.}
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V27 :kiss away the young thrills

designer
trent!
angela
xueting
karwei!
deb and bel
mish
hannah and co
clique
shihui
michelle

its nearly 1 am i cant seem to fall asleep..probably cuz of the fever im having and the damn phlem that has decided to kick up again..its hurts like hell when i cough..oh well at least i have an excuse to blog now.
i dont know. yes so now everyone go away and leave me alone. humph. i think i need chuwen now to tell me what to do but she's so far away now..gosh i miss her like hell.where are you my pokhead of a conscience?
and i need advise. no actually i dont. what i need now is reassurance, something no one can give me at this point. perhaps its just a battle i have to face on my own. a fight i have to win on my own. perhaps.
well i really dont have much to say anymore..cryptic entries take too much energy and i cant say direct things anymore simply cuz my readership has expended to people i have no clue are who. darn. well anyway just wanted to leave you with this
"crazy? but we cant be crazy. crazy is just a word and we're not words."

u and i..we're not words.

shit im scared. coming back now after what - a 6 month break? is it even possible? i have no clue. i want to come back i think. somehow it feels right again and ive always trusted my instincts. this time my heart and head say the same thing. then what's wrong i think..simple i dont want to come back at anyone's expense. ill feel like shit if u leave.. i know u said it wasnt my fault but isn't it? i know you, like you know me and u cant lie to me. i dont want u to go because of me, i just wouldnt be able to take it. this sucks like hell and im so sorry. im sorry im coming back, im sorry if it hurts you. im so damn sorry and i hope you'll stay. the future is uncertain, ive learnt that and i want you to know that too.
i dont regret leaving, it gave me a perspective that i dont think i would have otherwise got and it gave me some sort of passion i needed i think. basically im glad i was brave enough to do what i did but in a nostalgic kind of way, im also glad it's going to be over soon so i can return to where i think i belong. at the end of it all, who knows if it will be worth it? at least i know i tried.

ive learnt to never lose faith and hope, no matter how shitty everything becomes
ive learnt to give my best and push my limits even if no one believes anymore
ive learnt that i can do things if i just try and reach
ive learnt to cry and let the pain heal itself
ive learnt to make my mistakes and pick up the pieces
and ive learnt that i am because i will

im glad i learnt all this in a mere 6 months. i think i grew up here. im glad i did.
Oliver Wendell Holmes once said: "Many people die with their music still in them. Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live…Before they know it…time runs out." My time isnt out. it has only just begun.

peace out. 12:41 AM

yay happy happy.. i feel like bounching up and down..darn it its moments like this i wish i was a ball..err ya rite ok whatever. well anyway i just finished my brand new GPP..i feel so accomplished. started at 11 and just ended..7 hours of sitting on the blasted chair.. nvm i feel damn glad that its done.. and i think the efforts is definitely going to come across as well..yes ok so yes i feel accomplished..
ayway i had fun on friday though i fell asleep first..im sorry i was tired!! lol and well its a good thing i did cuz otherwise deb would have never updated her blog.. yup other than that life's been rather hectic but good nonetheless..i shall not dwell into the itsy bitsy of my life which no one except myself wants to know about..
oh on a side note..i cant believe i still have a thing for blah blah....like a wave of nausea hitting you..ewwww!!! incoreherent to everyone but me.
(done last week..rest just added)
maybe maybe maybe..life's a series of unanswered questions...questions that have never failed to scare the hell out of me but u know what

at least i lived.

peace out. 6:55 PM

im not very pleased.. ah well i really cant help it i just dont think bah! ok fine i shall not be a bitch..everything happens for a reason right. yes just trust that it will be ok..other than that i need to mug for my physics test tomorrow..something tells me im gonna fail anyway so why bother.. hmm ok im off

peace out. 12:08 PM