the past 2 days have been my full blown self pity days, where i simply moped around whining on and on about how fu*ked uped everything has been. but im feeling much better today and surprisingly a lot less tired than i was before. though i still look like a fugly monster since my face wasn't spared either, though stupid x.iong's jokes about it last night did make me feel much better. but anyway i guess how i look and feel really shouldn't be the point. i just need to take this in my stride and come out stronger yes? and perhaps this was meant to be right.
so anyway i read the alchemist yesterday, and i highly recommend it. its really short so once prelims are over just take 3 hours the most (considering how long i take to read you'd probably be done in much shorter.. and read the book. its extremely therapeutic.
and so i thought you might like this
"My heart is a traitor," the boy said to the alchemist when they paused to rest the horses. "It doesn't want me to go on."
"That makes sense," the alchemist answered. "Naturally its afraid that, in pursuing your dreams, you might lose everything you've won."
"Well then, why should i listen to my heart?"
"Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside you, repeating to you what you're thinking about life and about the world."
"You mean i should listen, even if its treasonous?"
"Treason is a blow that comes unexpectedly. If you know your heart well, it will never be able to do that to you. Because you'll know its dreams and wishes, and will know how to deal with them."
"You will never be able to escape from your heart. So its better to listen to what it has to say. That way you'll never have to fear an unanticipated blow."
"Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him," his heart said. "We the people's hearts, seldom say much about these treasures, because people no longer want to go in search of them. We speak of them only to children. Later we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, towards its own fate. But, unfortunately, very few follow the path laid out for them-the path to their personal legends, and to their happiness. Most people see the world as a threatening place , and,because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place."
"So we their hearts, speak more and more softly. We never stop speaking out, but we begin to hope that our words wont be heard. We don't want people to suffer because they don't follow their hearts."
"And continue to pay heed to the omens," said the alchemist. "Your heart is still capable of showing you where the treasure is."
"Is that the one thing i still needed to know?"
"No," the alchemist answered. "What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the Worlds tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we're learned as we've moved towards that dream. That's the point at which most people give up. Its the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one 'dies of thirst just when the Palm tress have appeared on the horizon.'
"Every search begins with beginner's luck. And every search ends with the victor's being severely tested.
The boy remembered an old proverb from his country. It said that the darkest hour of the night came just before the dawn.
yup and thats that. thank you all for all the encouragement and support though this rather shitty time it meant a lot.
