© 2006 BLACK-SOLACE {R.}
unless stated otherwise.
credits : ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

V27 :kiss away the young thrills

designer
trent!
angela
xueting
karwei!
deb and bel
mish
hannah and co
clique
shihui
michelle

as i sit here attempting to put to screen what i feel, words seem to evade me.... i dunno. i just feel so disappointed. expected so mucch more from everyone but in the end...never mind it just goes to show... the idea of being alone.. that whole concept which terrifies the heck out of everyone that u'd go to any means possible just not to be that...i think ive finally found the solace behind it. am relishing in this whole new world im creating for myself. isolated from various souls... people i believed were friends.

friends? funny really.i dont know what that means..are we just meant to be random souls who have a connection while we are together and then the minute time changes, we get swept in the tide and forget all past connections.but maybe thats just what it is..connections not relationships..maybe im just the foolish one to think it was anything more.at then end of the day we'll all move on and i wonder who ill call...maybe the more important question would be who'd call me.

i look around, wave at countless souls but seem to know no one. and likewise no one knows me. am tired of being the push around girl..come to me when u need me then forget me as u want..when things arent going right im the first one they come running to..and then..ok let me not go there. i promised myself i wouldnt stoop to anyone's level, wouldnt be that person i dont want to be and so i wont. just dont expect sympathy anymore for i have none to give.

u forgot. i dunno what hurts more..u not remembering still or simply pretending that u dont
whatever it is ive had my say. i think u took my words from me too right after taking my tears. god i hope its worth it for u.

peace out. 9:03 PM

as we are all glued onto our screens watching england let me put the way into perspective for everyone. as cousin dearest put it:
"the higher the ball, the better it is. thats the way england sees it. no wonder david beckham is king."
i want paragury to win! come on second half!!

peace out. 9:45 PM

world cup fever.. hmm.. as mentioned to various people team i supposrt has to be holland...i have no idea why but they have always been a festish and i guess argentina too but not any more since veron is gone..yup..as good as brasil are, i dont think they will win, simply because i believe in miracles..yes other than that beckham is still good looking and yes training tomorrow..oh its going well, have i mentioned yet.. yup that's about it for todays mundane post

have fun in alaska moni!

peace out. 10:24 PM

to dearest tan ruo qi,

i was trying to do something innovative and different and meaningful..but i figured ill leave that to next year since 18 is the more special year..so anyway i kinda wanted to make a video for you which i envisioned to look mega pretty and cool but im sorry, as you im a tech-noob and hence i had to settle for this ultra lame entry instead.. yes well anyway this entry is dedicated to you..read on..

"there are 6, 470, 818, 671 people in the world.some are running scared; some are coming home.some tell lies to make it through the day; others are just now facing the truth.some are evil men at war with good; and some are good struggling with evil.six billion people, six billion souls and sometimes... all you need is one." (abstract from one tree hill)

thank you roy for being my solid rock throughout this crazy rollar coaster ride that we call life. since sec 1 you've stuck by me, regardless of all my insecurities, my endless whinning, my ficklemindedness, my bitchyness and i thank you for that. i couldnt have made it this far without you. softball is what it is for me today because of you. and i say that without any sugar coating, or any attempt at being nice. its the truth. im so grateful to you and i cant believe that we stuck as throwing partners for 4 whole years! like what the hell is wrong with us man! i guess we just dont like change ya. ok back to the topic, thank you for being my throwing partner and helping me improve a hell lot. and also for picking up all my overthrows without grumbling THAT much and for always encouraging me on, even when you and i both knew my throws were going horridly wrong.

from the throws, i guess it would be softball in general where you were my constant source of inspiration. thank you for shinning in the games as you did. i never told you this but during the games, whenever i was feeling terrified, i'd look to you and gain strenghth from your pitching. and ill never forget all the times you pushed me on even though i was super tired and just wanted to give up. thank you roy for making my softball journey so perfect.

next, i guess it would be to simply say thank you for being my friend. i never really knew the extent of our friendship till it was tested at the beginning of this year and im glad it turned out to be as strong as it is. you've always been my source of encouragement and my listening ear..and im so thankful that u never once complained when i bitched to you about all the things that werent going right..you always knew the right thing to say and have always been the one to knock some sense into me. i love you for that. and i want to thank you for caring so much this year..it meant a great deal to me..there were loads of times i felt lost and lonely and just generally unhappy but you always had that encouraging smile that told me to go do what i had to do and be happy..and thank you for waiting for me to make all the choices i have made.. i noe some may have been stupid and would have probably caused you a lot of pain but thank you nonetheless for sticking by me through them and making me belive that i could do it.

im sorry for being a pain sometimes(fine a lot of times) and i promise to try to be early in the future..and im sorry for all the rubbish that ive done that youve had to put up with.
thank you for putting up with my shortcomings though..thank you for being my rock and for always being there no matter what.most importantly, thank you for being my firnd roy and thank you for all the great memories. ill cherish them forever..so i guess what im basically trying to say after all that musyness is that happy 17 (abeit belated) b'dae roy. i hope the year ahead goes smoothly for you..and even if it doesnt, im here.

oh and here's a little atempt to capture our loser moments together(im sorry i dont have most of the pics and all i could find were the france ones so yea! =) ..here goes...

so it beings in sec 1 where we all looked a little goofy and weird but somehow all managed to end up together in softball..(thank god i dont have pics of those days..memories are enough)
then came our neo-print phase..i still balme deborah for that..but anyway it was a good thing cuz now i have so many pics of us..im sure you have them too and hence ill spare us the agony of scaning them and putting them up here..i still remeber the dyas you had long hair roy! and not forgetting our rulers of the world blog and its wacky cntents
then sec 3 came bringing along with it its share of tries and trebulations which we managed to pull through somehow..again memeories are all i have..
then sec 4 where the gold mattered to us a whole lot more..where our passions drived us and hwere evrything just seemed like it would work out and yes not forgetting france. and here the pics come in


i guess it starts out with me and you on the plane..terribly exicted about the journey there..remeber me squealing about the stars and you telling me to shut the hell up!





then came our little door knob incident! ok fine so we gushed a hell lot cuz we had never seen a door knob in the middle of a door.










then came our attempts at pictures..see the noobs we were forgot we needed flash...










but we learnt soon enough..and the days of photowhoring began.. sometimes in groups














and sometimes just us goons having a ball..











and of course our must take scenic shots..yea we took so many we irritated the hell out of law remember..










on top of the eiffel tower..even the freezing cold didnt stop us from capturing the mement..











and i guess even the little kids of france werent spared from the camera














the picture i still love the most...between the broken glass we see..











so roy just wanted to say i lov ya!!











i noe there are a lot more photos but i got tired of up olading them..yup u get the gist
happy b'day roy. load ya loads!!

peace out. 8:20 PM

oh my gosh i cant believe its june! -bah- ah well...so yesterday was my first training in what a year and boy must i say i had a hell lot of fun..think it went rather well and im very happy!! yay! wasnt as bad as i fantomed though the throws still suck like shit but hey who's complaining.. its good to be back.

ics night was yesterday too.. all i can say is hah i didnt fall..yay me! lol..i thought the dances were really good and yup the modeling thing went well(i think)..oh oh yes i figured out what i looked like..a geisha! (fine more like a paintbox smashed in my face) but whatever..mine and manpreet's first..no wait second if u included prom..encounter with make-up.. something i do not intend to put on my face ever again or atleast for a while

went to macs with tara and ben after that..i wanted prata though but too bad food junction was already closed..hmm we shall give in to prata cravings on monday before da vinci! yea!
speaking of monday i have chem retest tomorrow but i havnet studied..shitty nvm i promise to start tomorrow night.. yes right..

oh yes apart from that..the hols have been super packed..first with ccal camp, then coucil meetints and rehearsals..havent really had a breather..oh yes i caught x-3 with bong on wed..my first movie in ages!! all i can say is i was terribly disappointed..well cuz cyclops was in the show for what a mere 10 mins..humph

oh yes let me jump..ccal camp was actually very fun..cuz my group was super amusing..i mean come on which other group had gossip sessions every night..and not forgetting our constant spastic behavior that ensured that every failure (and there were MANY, i assure you) was met with a grin. and though as aisha put it, i would win the worst camper award, i did enjoy myself..minus the toilets, the dirt grim and blah. lol oh and i must add ms chia rocked..without her we would have never gotten to bathe in the super nice toilets..lol i never bathed in the campsite ones at all..whooppee!!!

ok this has been a long enough entry..night and i cant wait to go out with everyone again this hols..moni, von they all, softballers, cuzins, basically everyone!!
haha no time to study!

i hope you dance

peace out. 8:42 PM