Friday, June 30, 2006
as i sit here attempting to put to screen what i feel, words seem to evade me.... i dunno. i just feel so disappointed. expected so mucch more from everyone but in the end...never mind it just goes to show... the idea of being alone.. that whole concept which terrifies the heck out of everyone that u'd go to any means possible just not to be that...i think ive finally found the solace behind it. am relishing in this whole new world im creating for myself. isolated from various souls... people i believed were friends.
friends? funny really.i dont know what that means..are we just meant to be random souls who have a connection while we are together and then the minute time changes, we get swept in the tide and forget all past connections.but maybe thats just what it is..connections not relationships..maybe im just the foolish one to think it was anything more.at then end of the day we'll all move on and i wonder who ill call...maybe the more important question would be who'd call me.
i look around, wave at countless souls but seem to know no one. and likewise no one knows me. am tired of being the push around girl..come to me when u need me then forget me as u want..when things arent going right im the first one they come running to..and then..ok let me not go there. i promised myself i wouldnt stoop to anyone's level, wouldnt be that person i dont want to be and so i wont. just dont expect sympathy anymore for i have none to give.
u forgot. i dunno what hurts more..u not remembering still or simply pretending that u dont
whatever it is ive had my say. i think u took my words from me too right after taking my tears. god i hope its worth it for u.
peace out. 9:03 PM