Saturday, July 22, 2006

been nearly a month since i turned 17 and yet at the same time i feel no different, no more wiser than i was then, no more happier. 17 came and went as most b'dae's do. came as a surprise though that the people i thought were "closest" to me forgot it while other random souls remembered. and for that im actually very touched so thank you.

dont noe but somehow my b'daes have never really held much importance to me but i guess it does feel good for them to be remembered at times.

and so i feel the sudden need i to say my thank yous. firstly to those who wished me on that day itself. was really sweet especially given that we had cts the next day and everyone was busy mugging their bums off.. then to von khaw hannah and mish for making the dinner thing as rediculas and fun as it possibly could be. thank you, it was some much needed laughter and joy to go with all th shit that was happening. yup bong i love the pillow!! and tara lin, the thing is currently under my table and i burst out into smiles every time i see it. thanks roy too for everything!! and matt ..u noe.. and everyone else i forgot. i am too tired. to go on but yup im just tankful for the few souls in my life that today mean so much more to me than ever before.

jc's changed us all. i wish things could go back to what they were before but i know they cant and in some sense im glad too. it forced me to grow up. 17 is just a number. you cant put a number to my thoughts, to my feelings, to me.

define me, you,us. if u can.

anyway random song that ive taken a liking to.

Unfaithful by Rihanna

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
But clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both knowWhere I'm about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the doorI see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore
UhAnymore (anymore)

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And everytime I walk out the doorI see him die a little more inside
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...A murderer (a murderer)

______________________________________________________________

and so here's to 18..250607..eh just realized that 17 was actually quite a nice date 250606. =)
too many numbers to care.

peace out. 12:02 AM