Wednesday, April 11, 2007
“Are you ok?”
Honestly, what do you think?
It’s a overused question that warrants no reply, at least in my opinion. Id rather be hugged and told to hang in there then be asked if im ok.
Nvm I don’t think you would understand anyway..
Im glad I spoke to g.ee yesterday..a 2 hr long convo but one that made me smile even if it was amidst a couple of tears and thank you to all those that cared, really
Ive cried it out, said my fair share of what the F**ks and am now just letting it be.
“but resh seems fine” yea im only fine to you because it’s a lot easier than to look sad. Its so much simpler to pretend everything’s handy dandy even though it feels like my guts are being vacuumed out of me every time I see my glove in the corner of the room..its still lying there waiting to pick up again as if it will see another training..wad do I say to it? “dear glove, its time to go back into storage?” and you wonder why it hurts
my last entry seems uncanningly upbeat, which is really a wonder.
And honestly at this point of time I really really want our friendship to be over. For me to stop pretending I even know you anymore and to stop being a hypocrite. It’s the stupidity I once promised myself I would never encapsulate again and here I am doing the same thing.. I really hate bitching about you because it just sinks me to your level..ergh lets not be friends anymore..oh wait perhaps we really haven’t been for a long time..go your way and leave me alone..ill be happy that way, a hell lot happier
Manipulator.
peace out. 9:59 PM