Friday, May 25, 2007

and when i look back some day, its the people that i'd always remember and cherish

timbre's over and although some things could have been better, right now im just too relieved to care. it was one heck of a ride, what with me getting yelled at, stressing out to the point of nearly breaking down and just wanting everything and everyone to leave me alone, i think ive still managed to gain quite a bit. although right now, the whole process and the event itself are plastered in my mind, as the days,weeks and months go by, i am certain that memory will start to fade. instead it is the people who i have met/people who have held my hand and made me keep the faith that i wont forget.

when i left softball after sec 4, i thought i was only leaving the game. perhaps it was easier that way i guess. though i have come to realise that had i stayed away any longer than i did, i'd probably have lost one of the best things in my life. the people who have made me who i am. the friends who have always been there no matter what. that all-knowing comfortable feeling that only 6 years together can give you. to de.b and be.l.. thank you. i dont know what else to say, i really really dont because it meant so much. everything from yesterday to today. it made me cherish all those times we used to have, and long for more. (blasted a's!) it was very touching and for sitting with a moody/super frazzled me yesterday thank you. i really couldn't ask for more and the pretty balloon made it all the more perfect. you know i know u do. to the other softballers (je.m ge.e xia.n ad.a siqi) thank you too for being there with me. and to roy for sharing food with me and having to put up with my bitchy saying about -hem hem- after meetings. im glad i came back, especially if it meant not losing this wonderful "friendship"(i think it transcends that).

then onto the team itself. mon.i, aver.y,mis.h, hanna.h, xue ti.ng, kha.w,von,ochi rachel e, boyboys[=)i hope they never come here] for putting up with everything that got thrown our way. i think given the circumstances, it was a success in my book. im thankful to have worked with such a diverse and possibly very slack group. though we did chiong our ass off when we had to.
again here i pause to thank you all not for the work you put in for with time, no one will remember that or even care to, but instead to thank you for encouraging me along. for taking the fall with me and for always being there. to m.ish v.on hann.ah kha.w thank you. it really did mean a lot to know whatever happened we would be in it together.

and lastly i guess what ill pick out most from this is that i have come to understand that there are people out there who do care, who do notice when i not smiling and who are willing to make me smile again. to the classmates (my closest blog readers i know!), thank you for coming and yes you guys are very lucky people and to the other classmates thank you for understanding as i stoned the past two days away, counting random number outs loud. and for sharing with me interesting facts though i told u much too. heh. to people like yilu.n who's "its nice to see you smiling again" i wont forget for a very long time, tar.a li.n and others who wished me luck and who told me it was going to be fine. thank you. although it may have been a passing statement to many of you, it did carry much weight for me. and to sa.b dear or making my day with the yummy brownie. told you im going to marry a chef when i grow up. and yes to de.e and ma.tt for calling even though they had no idea what i was talking about half the time but simply for making sure i was going to be ok. and the fact they rang from arm.y made it all the more heart-warming.

so yes before this becomes a hallmark card/movie, ill sort of end. though i would like to add this..
sometimes i think we tend not to cherish what we have. we nitpick at everything, expect more from everyone to the extent of losing faith in them when things dont go right. its a hypocritical vicious cycle where we bitch about people that on some days mean the world to us and on others just make us want to smack them. every one's done it. i know i have. and right now it sort of disgusts me. perhaps one day ill be bigger than all this, perhaps i wont bitch about individuals, rather ill bitch about the situation and perhaps ill be able to look at the bigger picture and simply forgive and move on. so for now im sorry if i've ever been a backstabbing bitch. i promise to be a better friend. hold me to that.

we question all the time. why dont we have this or that. today im just glad i have you all. dear god, thank you for pulling me through this and more importantly thank you for giving me my friends.

peace out. 12:17 AM