dreaming of the osakan sun
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
yesterday i promised myself that i would learn how to smile again; and not the kind that hides shadows behind it
i promised myself that i would laugh again; the sort that spills out joy and
doesnt veil the pain i choose not to face
i promised myself i would paint again; for the thoughts i pretend not to see are expressed so much more vibrantly in colours
and i promised myself that i would learn how to forgive; for perhaps that will make me whole again
its not meant to be this hard is it
which simply leads me to conclude that im horridly weak and that little thought churns my insides.
i am stronger than this, better than this i say, and yet it burns all the same.
i think in some way or another we are all damaged..or maybe i just say that to put things into a little perspective.
though the melodrama of it all amuses me to no end; the little i have seen and experienced of this world and the impression it has left on me.. i wonder what happens when i actually have to open my eyes.
oh blimey let the sad thoughts be already.. these days are meant to be gay and carefree, which i daresay they have been. and im glad to be part of a friendship so retarded and lame that it makes me realize that the things that matter most in life are not the cracks that we will most certainly fall in but the manner in which we climb out. inclusive certainly of those who will stand by us and help us up again. mmm perhaps med has been great afterall
on another note i have a paper in slightly over a week... what am i doing blogging?
"if you could, would you be willing to fix me?"
peace out. 4:17 PM